Provenance of Heart

Cloaked in the cover of night, the amber street light illuminated my path as I dashed home through the darkness mere hours before the dawn would break. Fearless and fast, my steps were filled with the kind of lightness that only joy could bring. On any given day, I would wear several different masks that shaped the hours of my day by allowing the different sides of me to emerge more authentically than ever before. Mornings would find me teaching English and Math to adults. The afternoons were filled with writing until it was time for yoga. And, the evenings and late nights would find me with both my camera and my heart in my hands at some of NYC's lower east side's best music venues surrounded by two of the things that have made life worth living: music and friends. After a lifetime of hardcore searching, I had found them: my people. The creative minds, the underdogs, the artists, the people who fought relentlessly not merely to walk down a path, but to create one, those who created not because they just wanted to, but because they were wholeheartedly driven to.

The spiritual nourishment I receive from being around artistic creations of all kinds extends beyond what words can convey, but I know that I am not alone. The subtle peace found circulating in the air in a museum or gallery, the euphoric energy of a live concert or the intellectual stimulation of seeing a play all offers a kind of energetic exchange. We are recharged not only by the experience that pleases our senses, but by the knowledge that direct channels to the most authentic parts of us as human beings exist. And, if we choose to be open to it, standing before a child's latest messy fingerpainted piece of tattered construction paper is no less magical than gazing at the Mona Lisa.  Though vastly different, both come from similar places within the human heart-- the need to create and express are seeds that ripen and bloom differently for all of us depending on our innate talents, our destinies, our choices and on how we have been socialized.

There is a term used in the art world to explain the place of origin for a work of art: provenance. I believe that if we chase the trail of breadcrumbs back-- or forward-- far enough, the provenance for the works of art that we are leads back to a singular place. We come from a source that is endlessly abundant in all we can imagine and galaxies beyond that. Science has made many wonderful advances, but it is still playing catch up in many ways and a part of life is beautiful because it is mysterious, not despite it. Perhaps, though, understanding the source of art is the same as appreciating that art comes through us from a greater source.

After my life dramatically and instantly changed (yet again...) a year and a half ago and much of the relative normalcy that I had established for myself had disappeared, what remained without question was the clarity and life-sustaining desire to share my art and words with the world. It took leaving my life-- almost completely and not metaphorically-- for me to come into myself and to embrace my path as an artist fully. I  am fairly certain that I did not choose this path as an artist for myself initially-- it was one that I was born into this life with, but I absolutely choose it now. And, that kind of surrender is a little like the bliss of catching the gaze of a stranger across the room and discovering that he/she is your beloved.  Every time I am writing or capturing an image with my camera, I feel life pulsing through me and gliding out into the world, continuing on its way to reach wherever it is meant to travel. As artists-- and as human beings-- we don't get to hold on to the love that seeks to shine through us, but merely to honor its presence for as long as that ultimate guest is willing to stay. And, in spite of continuing, rather enormous challenges that have moved into my life, I view my work each day as merely to be the best hostess to the powers of creation that I can be. And, to dance with the force that is the provenance of both the art and heart of us all.